Wally Smells Like Balls

In this moment, I simply exist. Depression? I don’t think so. My stomach has been wonky all day. I worked a few hours of overtime this week (in my pajamas, of course). And I am the parent of a very headstrong, stubborn teenager who seems to have to learn lessons the hard way. Sigh. These …

No Extra Charge For Country TV

Oh, friends. It’s nice to be back. We’ve had a couple of unexpected changes lately. But now that a “new normal” is in the making, I am slowly making time, once again, for the things I love. Like writing blog posts to clog the great internet void. Therapy for me. Entertainment for you. What have …

BDSM Bugs

If you are easily offended or of a delicate nature, abort reading this post immediately. This requires an incredibly odd sense of humor and a fair helping of morbid curiosity. So what I’m saying is Mom, if you’re still reading this, it’s on you- my hands are clean. I thought I was going to have …

Now That’s Small Town Customer Service

I was originally going to post this last night but started getting tired. Then this morning, Josh messaged me and I had to share that blip of conversation. BUT I’M ALLOWED TO FUCK UP MY POST TIMELINE! All that matters is you get a story. Yesterday morning started out on a high note. Plenty of …

Home is Where You Set Trash On the Counter

UGHHHHHH! We are currently having technical difficulties, probably because Dad is trying to talk to me from the couch as I sit on my bed. And I can’t seem to get this post set up quite right. I had a rough (mental) outline- start with how I used to, and still sometimes do, struggle with …

Corona Crossing, Self Medicating With Caffeine, and Now We Have a Mailbox Big Enough To Hold a Baby (Maybe Two)

Please do not deposit any unwanted babies into our mailbox. There’s a reason I opted for a hysterectomy almost five years ago and have yet to regret it. I was working this morning from my bed, as I currently do M-F. I could hear Dad tromping in from the great outdoors, stop at the area …

If I Were Made Of Bacon

Haku is adorable. And Samantha Irby’s book is HILARIOUS, FYI! I would love to be friends with her. The kind of friends who text or DM because neither of us want to get out into the world. Or put pants on. Or have to worry about awkward pooping in public places. Look at Haku. He …

Instagram: Bringing You Back Alley Treasures Since 2020

Hi. I’ve missed having fun stuff to share with you when everything feels heavy. Including me. But today something fun happened that made me laugh and I want to share it with you. I’m surprised my best friend sent this- he’s a little more on the reserved side. Sometimes I wonder how our friendship has …

Dreams From Way Too Early The Other Morning: April 13th

1. A vampire bit my right arm. After bonking it on the head, it scurried off (someone has been watching too much True Blood this coronatine). …this led to an early morning existential crisis/anxiety meltdown as I was doing my best to get back to sleep. Worst part: the vampire didn’t even try to get …