Antler Fingers Are For The Workplace

I argue that they are for everyday use and wouldn’t be creepy at all. My gentleman caller disagrees, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THE ONE WHO OFFERED TO MAKE ME REPLACEMENT FINGERS! But I’m getting ahead of myself, so let’s back up so I can give you an edited version of how this conversation happened. And […]

Ghosts Are Dicks and Joan Cusack is Down To Earth

Neither of these two things are related to the other- I’m just trying to get us caught back up and on track because I know you’re curious what I’ve been up to this week. I appreciate you. You’ve missed a couple of important events during my absence: my sister cousin road trip to Galena, Kansas […]

Why Hasn’t Anyone Sent Me Penis Glitter?!

Wednesday did not go as planned. Due to snow, I canceled my oil change and dental appointment. I also made sure to get outside and play in the snow while wearing my obnoxious snow boots that I’ve barely used the past few years. Five year old Amber was super happy. Snow is beautiful. Magical. And […]

Panic in the ladies room

I don’t feel very funny today. Despite all of the pep talks I gave myself, the drops of CBD, I still had a mild panic attack at work during the all staff meeting. I found myself hiding in the bathroom in an attempt to pull it together. Thankfully, by the time I came out, it […]

Tire Tuesday

It’s 12:37pm. Tuesday. And I’m typing this from home. Why am I home?! That’s a great question! My tire has a gash in the sidewall and was deemed “unfixable” last night after I had driven around Wichita trying to frantically get it patched after work. I guess it’s frowned upon to drive on them when […]

Let’s try to end this on a medium note

I’m standing in the kitchen shoveling seconds into my empty bowl when I hear my son tell my father: “I found a $900 calf”. WHY IS MY CHILD LOOKING FOR A CALF?! WTF ARE THE TWO OF THEM GOING TO DO WITH IT?! I quickly realized he had said cab. Like the cab of a […]

I’m Not A Very Good Juggler

The more I read about anxiety, the more I realize I’ve been juggling this way longer than I thought. I assumed it was something that started around 2016 for whatever reason. NOPE! Looks like I’ve had one symptom or another for as long as I can remember. …it just didn’t keep me from doing things […]