TV Lies. Vikings Wore Hats.

Trevor and I have been watching Vikings for about a month(?) now.

We were looking for something more…long term. A show we could become at least mildly invested in. He had already watched it years back, but I said sure, why not?

It has popped up quite a bit in the, “SHOWS WE THINK YOU MAY WANT TO WATCH AND WE AREN’T GOING TO GET RID OF THIS SUGGESTION UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY FINISH THE ENTIRE SERIES” section.

I ignored it for years, until we needed a show to let play in the background because we had already plowed through all nine seasons of Letterkenny (new season on Hulu soon!).

Pitter Patter.

As expected, there is a lot of murder in Vikings. And a lot of scenes which ignited feminist rage.

Vikings is probably not a great choice for someone who focuses on loving kindness and compassion. And is a feminist killjoy.

I am home to a lot of very unpopular opinions.

But what really got me was THE COMPLETE LACK OF HEAD COVERINGS IN THE DEAD OF WINTER UNTIL SEASON 5 WHEN BJORN MARRIES THE GIRL WHO BASICALLY THREATENS TO CHEW HIS BALLS.

I wish I was making this up, but that scene actually happened.

NO HATS ON HEADS WITH OR WITHOUT HAIR.

Whaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttt?!

As a human with probably over half of my head shaved, I raised an eyebrow. Or both. There are times I walk around the inside of my house wearing a beanie.

However, I have a grandmother who wears at least two, if not three, layers of clothing in the summer. Genetics aren’t exactly on my side.

One character, with most of his head shaved, WAS OUT FIGHTING A BEAR IN INCHES OF SNOW WITH NOTHING ON HIS HEAD.

Alexander Ludwig: Born to be King -
Okay, so Bjorn had more hair in this scene than I remember. BUT HE STILL ISN’T WEARING A HAT! (photo= mensfitnessmagazine)

…are they trying to make me believe people just walked around Norway, bald heads and all, in the dead of winter, hands and face red (noticeably freezing some bits off), BUT NO ONE PUTS ANYTHING ON THEIR HEADS?!

Amber, it’s a tv show. A VERY LOOSELY HISTORICAL (HISTORICALLY?) BASED SHOW. And you are on your soapbox about the lack of hats?

Yes. Yes I am.

We have to pick and choose our battles.

Clearly, a lot of time is put into the characters’ hair. This show has so much great hair. All kinds of beautiful braids and shaved heads.

Every character has the best hair.

So maybe that’s why we don’t see hats- who wants to ruin a great hairstyle (that took a ton of time and dash of black magic) for a 10 second scene?

It’s like spending hours in the kitchen, only to watch your creation be destroyed/consumed in minutes.

I hear some people don’t mind cooking. Bless you. There is a special place in the afterlife for you.

Because I am me, I hit up the Google to prove what I already knew but I wanted to see in print:

THE REAL ACTUAL VIKINGS WORE HATS!

I rest my case.

More posts to come.

Published by amberalice

I’m not sure how to summarize myself properly (I struggle with simply being human). But let’s give it a try! Spiritual witchy hippie who dreams of three day weekends and human rights for all. Lunch lady to the neighborhood birbs (white breasted nut hatches are the best!). Adore my jumping spiders. Oh, there are also 50 or so plants we share our home with. And some rogue lady bugs. It’s always interesting to see where they show up. Like on toilet paper. This is where I add a heavy dash of queer, neurodivergency, and vegetarianism. Am big on hugs- I give them most generously.

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