Breast Biscuits, Face Eating Ticks, and Planning a Sleepover

I’m surprised my provider keeps letting me come back to see her.

Burned out from work and life, I gave myself a four day weekend this week. But I filled it with a dash of adulting.

Mostly fun things, though.

Anyway, Thursday was my appointment for ye annual lady exam. PREVENTIVE HEALTH IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

I quickly slipped out of my clothes and into the ever so fashionable blue paper skirts (one on top and one on bottom to feel like I was wearing one of those cute ruffle dresses. I looked like a gigantic blob. But a comfortable blob as I checked my credit score while waiting for the inevitable swabbing).

It’s great how when you get older, you don’t really care as much about being naked with your feet in stirrups.

First part of the exam was the breast check, where I proceeded to tell my provider that it felt like a cat making bread (I later corrected this to biscuits and mentioned I watch a lot of cat videos on TikTok for the serotonin).

…both she, and the nurse who had told me earlier I was one of her favorite patients, started laughing.

I think this could have bumped me up to the nurse’s TOP favorite patient. As for my APRN, well, it’s safe to say she’s going to be thinking about making biscuits each time she’s checking breasts for lumps.

The swabbing wasn’t quite as entertaining, which you think it would have been.

With my appointment complete, and me back in real clothes, it was time to head to Kechi to visit Boston Drew.

I hadn’t made it too far out of town when I felt something crawling on my face. At first, I thought was some of my hair because it does whatever it wants.


…the tick that had tried to eat me the night before. Not thinking this through the first time, I had brushed it off of my foot, in panic, while driving. THEN I REALIZED IT WAS NOW GOING TO BE TRAPPED IN MY CAR, WAITING TO EAT ME AGAIN!



However, I was smarter this go round. I was able to remove the offender from my face (it hadn’t clamped down yet), put it on the passenger seat, grab a napkin, and wrap it up VERY TIGHTLY in said napkin.

I then held the crumpled wad of tick and paper until I could pull over and toss it out of my car.

Disaster, and potential Lyme disease, averted.

I don’t believe in littering, for the record. But I wasn’t about to let the tick free range in my car any longer.

From there on out, it was a quiet trip to meet Drew. Hugs were had. We gorged on the most delicious Indian food at Passage to India. I drooled over his mother’s yard and garden.

His mom is a landscaping, gardening genius.

I gave their dog many pets. And after both Drew and I digested a few pounds of lunch, he took me to the Karg glass studio in Kechi.

I’ve heard about this studio for years. I’ve passed it going to the plant shop right across the street from it. But never took the time to actually go in.

I had been missing out.

So many beautiful things- of course, most were glass, but they had other great pieces made by artisans.

It never ceases to amaze me what humans can do.

Unfortunately, I did not have hundreds of dollars to buy an octopus, or a piece that looked like a snail who was very much over it, but I DID find a beautiful ornament in my price range.

When I bought it, I was thinking it would look great on our Christmas tree. Then I realized it would be even better hanging from a window.

I was right!

We proceeded to Dutch’s greenhouse on the south side of town- not far from where Drew grew up in Haysville.

Of course, this happened:

A marble queen pothos and variegated Swedish ivy

I’ll be going back in a month for hoyas. Because I love them.

After a brief pit stop at Sonic for cherry limeades, Drew gave me a tour of Haysville– showing me the homes he lived in, schools he attended, and where Teenage Drew made out with girls.

We wrapped up our most wonderful day together singing along (very loudly) to Frank Turner on the way back to Kechi.

I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad time with Drew in all the years we’ve known each other.

He leaves me better than he found me (there’s a character in season two of Special on Netflix who that was his thing. Leaving people better than he found them. And I love it).

I will definitely miss Drew when he’s in England. However, I’m excited for this upcoming overseas adventure of his. My longtime friend has been planning this for quite a while- in less than a month, he’ll be living his dream.

There’s something to be said about watching your friends be happy, which Drew mentioned Thursday afternoon.

And to have your own happiness.

Like, oh, you happen to finally meet the person who is “it”. That old saying, “When you know, you know”.

I thought it was just a saying. Because I’ve met and dated a lot of men in my life. Sure, there were some I wanted to marry because I loved them and they are great men; however, I never had that, “This is the human I want to be domestic with”, until last Sunday, the 6th.

Enter Trevor.

A friend of a friend. We occasionally acknowledged each other on Facebook but avoided one another because we both had a feeling it would lead to something serious.

According to Facebook, which tracks everything, we’d been avoiding meeting each other since September of 2019.

After over a year of hiding behind screens, I sent a message. I did want to know who he is as a human- I was curious. I was also tired of dodging the inevitable.

He replied to my awkward message. I later found out he was incredibly thankful I had acknowledged the long standing elephant in the room.

The elephant is now resting comfortably.

We exchanged words for a while. Eventually there was a phone call. Then he came to my tiny town last weekend.

We spent the whole day together. This was a huge deal because I am usually trying to avoid and get away from other people.

I wanted this one to hang out with me as long as possible.

He returned last Sunday afternoon and hung out with me as I cleaned the farmhouse. That’s when I knew.

It wasn’t infatuation. Or lust. It was a moment of knowing, clarity, and recognition.

…I even called my mom to tell her.

Funny how everything can change in a day, isn’t it? When Trevor called Thursday night, we started planning OUR FIRST SLEEPOVER WHICH WAS FRIDAY!

Both of us were pretty excited.

He bought flower sheets that reminded him of me. Did a bit of housecleaning. Also picked up some candles.

Between the rain drowning us Friday night on our trip to Walmart, making dinner together, discussing numerous topics, meeting Trevor’s coworkers, his mother, seeing some of his favorite places in his hometown, and having dinner with my family last night, it’s been a great weekend.

A well executed sleepover, if I do say so myself.

More posts to come.

Published by amberalice

Mother of spoods. Birb lunch lady.

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