Do Extroverts Haunt People When They Die?

I have one existential crisis a week (roughly). With the pandemic raging around us, I’m currently averaging two. I like to think I’m handling my fragile mortality pretty well, all things considered.

Do you know the best way to clear a group chat? Tell your family when you die that you want them to cut your hair and have mourning jewelry made out of it. I’ve seen some great modern mourning jewelry pieces on IG from margaretcross and mickeyalicekwapis, btw.

Personally, I think it’s sweet – (I’d wear the hair of someone I loved).

And I didn’t even mention the ashes to diamonds option to my siblings! I kept it light.

However, I did bring it up to my cousin, Madeline, who was brave enough to engage me in this conversation- though I doubt anything I could ever say at this point would surprise her. My other cousin, her sister that is also part of our cousin/sister chat, is currently taking a nap- she’s off the hook.

After I brought up the ashes to diamonds, Madeline’s only response was if she made her mother into a diamond, she’d probably end up haunting her.

…this led to an important question:

DO EXTROVERTS HAUNT PEOPLE WHEN THEY DIE?!

I have a hard time believing any dead introvert would want to spend any amount of their afterlife haunting humans. We spend our ENTIRE MORTAL LIVES trying to avoid people. I sure as shit wouldn’t want to waste my afterlife interacting with them.

So is it safe to say the ghosts that do all the haunting are extroverts?!

Personally, I’d rather walk the Earth, exploring all the places I was never able to see when I was alive. Visit museums after hours- no people. No admittance fees. Stay as long as I like. Poke around in the back to see what they have hidden away from public eyes.

How would I travel?! Would I be able to teleport- I wouldn’t have a physical body. Could I fly?!

Can ghosts swim?! OMG MAYBE I’D SEE A KRAKEN!

..lava would no longer hold any power over me. TAKE THAT, LAVA!

I have so many questions now and no Theresa Caputo to answer them for me.

Which is mildly disappointing but I’d rather not know because I’d probably be told ghosts can’t do any of those things for a multitude of reasons-I can’t have my afterlife itinerary crushed before I even get there.

And what do the living really know about the dead, anyway?!

There is one thing that I hope we DO get when we depart– a copy of A Handbook For The Recently Deceased. Hard pass on the sandworms, though.

More posts to come.