I WIN BECAUSE I HAVE ALL OF THE SEEDS!

Winter had to get one last hoorah in before Spring sits on the throne.

What a fucking dick!

We’ve had great weather here lately. Sure, it’s kind of windy, but it’s Kansas. I’ll take a windy 70 degree day anytime.

As you are well aware (if you religiously read my blog), I love plants. They’re comforting. Stay where I put them. THEY DON’T TALK OR REQUIRE A WHOLE LOT OF EFFORT FROM ME (I’m not a huge fan of responsibility- ask anyone I know. They’ll happily verify this fact and possibly add on how I am probably not the adult who should ever be in charge of anything. Or other people. This isn’t a bad piece of advice).

Back to plants!

I saw a post on Facebook about moonflowers- how they open at night and smell amazing.

…sold!

I did a little searching on Etsy, came across some purple moonflowers that I hope are relatively large, and bought them fairly quickly because I need them.

I always need another plant.

Did I mention they’re poisonous?! EVEN BETTER!

Because they’re a vine flower, the problem was figuring out where to put them. Fortunately, we have a tree in the backyard, The Death Tree, that is pretty nakey- sans a ring of plants about a foot-ish away from its trunk (unfortunately I think those are super dead and not coming back from the brink of winter, so sage and lavender may be going in their places).

Added bonus: my fire pit is close to the tree so I can enjoy my poison flowers and fire AT THE SAME TIME!

My seeds arrived. I was pleased.

After some cleaning up, I planted the moonflowers- crossing my fingers we were done with super cold weather so my little babies don’t die.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?! IT GETS COLD A FEW DAYS AFTER I LOVINGLY PLANTED THE SEEDS AND NOW MY POISON FLOWER BABIES ARE PROBABLY DEAD.

The joke is on mother nature, though. I WIN BECAUSE I HAVE ALL OF THE FUCKING SEEDS!

That’s right– I bought TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY seeds. Come hell or high water, I AM GETTING MY POISON FLOWERS!

I will not be denied.

If I don’t see anything sprouting in the next week, I’ll replant. And I’ll keep this cycle going until they grow.

I don’t think having some sort of backyard oasis is too much to ask. Albeit, most people aren’t usually so happy or willing to have something poisonous in their backyard- but I am not most people.

And I’m okay with that. It’s taken me a long time to be at ease with who I am. To realize I can be all the things that make me me- I don’t have to choose between them.

I would like to take the time to throw in a little medication update- I’ve been taking my anxiety meds for close to a month and a half now. I still have a little anxiety, but it’s way more manageable (i.e. anxiety poop free, baby!).

It’s been really, really nice.

I’ve had some issues with depression lately, though. All things considered, I think many of us are struggling. I crave alone time, which is hard to get when everyone isolating with you. But I can’t tell if my need to be completely alone stems from my introverted nature or if it’s depression.

My guess is both. But at least I’m feeling a little more centered, at ease being home– things have slowed down. It’s quieter. Not any real office chaos.

And I spend most of my days in pajamas. No bra. No pants. Haven’t washed my hair in about a week- just to see if I could do it. Part of me wants to wash it. The other part of me wants to keep going to see if this no poo myth is true- will my scalp stop producing oil if I keep up my no shampoo routine?!

If it does stop making me like a grease queen, I can help save the environment and some money by never shampooing again.

And with that, I’m leaving you. My words have all been used up.

Have a great weekend, you guys- stay safe at home. And to those of you who can’t, we’re all thinking of you ❤

More posts to come.

Published by amberalice

Kansas Native. Knitter. Amateur photographer. Lover of love, plants, and great burritos.

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