I WIN BECAUSE I HAVE ALL OF THE SEEDS!

Winter had to get one last hoorah in before Spring sits on the throne.

What a fucking dick!

We’ve had great weather here lately. Sure, it’s kind of windy, but it’s Kansas. I’ll take a windy 70 degree day anytime.

As you are well aware (if you religiously read my blog), I love plants. They’re comforting. Stay where I put them. THEY DON’T TALK OR REQUIRE A WHOLE LOT OF EFFORT FROM ME (I’m not a huge fan of responsibility- ask anyone I know. They’ll happily verify this fact and possibly add on how I am probably not the adult who should ever be in charge of anything. Or other people. This isn’t a bad piece of advice).

Back to plants!

I saw a post on Facebook about moonflowers- how they open at night and smell amazing.

…sold!

I did a little searching on Etsy, came across some purple moonflowers that I hope are relatively large, and bought them fairly quickly because I need them.

I always need another plant.

Did I mention they’re poisonous?! EVEN BETTER!

Because they’re a vine flower, the problem was figuring out where to put them. Fortunately, we have a tree in the backyard, The Death Tree, that is pretty nakey- sans a ring of plants about a foot-ish away from its trunk (unfortunately I think those are super dead and not coming back from the brink of winter, so sage and lavender may be going in their places).

Added bonus: my fire pit is close to the tree so I can enjoy my poison flowers and fire AT THE SAME TIME!

My seeds arrived. I was pleased.

After some cleaning up, I planted the moonflowers- crossing my fingers we were done with super cold weather so my little babies don’t die.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?! IT GETS COLD A FEW DAYS AFTER I LOVINGLY PLANTED THE SEEDS AND NOW MY POISON FLOWER BABIES ARE PROBABLY DEAD.

The joke is on mother nature, though. I WIN BECAUSE I HAVE ALL OF THE FUCKING SEEDS!

That’s right– I bought TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY seeds. Come hell or high water, I AM GETTING MY POISON FLOWERS!

I will not be denied.

If I don’t see anything sprouting in the next week, I’ll replant. And I’ll keep this cycle going until they grow.

I don’t think having some sort of backyard oasis is too much to ask. Albeit, most people aren’t usually so happy or willing to have something poisonous in their backyard- but I am not most people.

And I’m okay with that. It’s taken me a long time to be at ease with who I am. To realize I can be all the things that make me me- I don’t have to choose between them.

I would like to take the time to throw in a little medication update- I’ve been taking my anxiety meds for close to a month and a half now. I still have a little anxiety, but it’s way more manageable (i.e. anxiety poop free, baby!).

It’s been really, really nice.

I’ve had some issues with depression lately, though. All things considered, I think many of us are struggling. I crave alone time, which is hard to get when everyone isolating with you. But I can’t tell if my need to be completely alone stems from my introverted nature or if it’s depression.

My guess is both. But at least I’m feeling a little more centered, at ease being home– things have slowed down. It’s quieter. Not any real office chaos.

And I spend most of my days in pajamas. No bra. No pants. Haven’t washed my hair in about a week- just to see if I could do it. Part of me wants to wash it. The other part of me wants to keep going to see if this no poo myth is true- will my scalp stop producing oil if I keep up my no shampoo routine?!

If it does stop making me like a grease queen, I can help save the environment and some money by never shampooing again.

And with that, I’m leaving you. My words have all been used up.

Have a great weekend, you guys- stay safe at home. And to those of you who can’t, we’re all thinking of you ❤

More posts to come.

Published by amberalice

I’m not sure how to summarize myself properly (I struggle with simply being human). But let’s give it a try! Spiritual witchy hippie who dreams of three day weekends and human rights for all. Lunch lady to the neighborhood birbs (white breasted nut hatches are the best!). Adore my jumping spiders. Oh, there are also 50 or so plants we share our home with. And some rogue lady bugs. It’s always interesting to see where they show up. Like on toilet paper. This is where I add a heavy dash of queer, neurodivergency, and vegetarianism. Am big on hugs- I give them most generously.

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