I argue that they are for everyday use and wouldn't be creepy at all. My gentleman caller disagrees, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THE ONE WHO OFFERED TO MAKE ME REPLACEMENT FINGERS! But I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's back up so I can give you an edited version of how this conversation happened. And … Continue reading Antler Fingers Are For The Workplace
Neither of these two things are related to the other- I'm just trying to get us caught back up and on track because I know you're curious what I've been up to this week. I appreciate you. You've missed a couple of important events during my absence: my sister cousin road trip to Galena, Kansas … Continue reading Ghosts Are Dicks and Joan Cusack is Down To Earth
Wednesday did not go as planned. Due to snow, I canceled my oil change and dental appointment. I also made sure to get outside and play in the snow while wearing my obnoxious snow boots that I've barely used the past few years. Five year old Amber was super happy. Snow is beautiful. Magical. And … Continue reading Why Hasn't Anyone Sent Me Penis Glitter?!
I don't feel very funny today. Despite all of the pep talks I gave myself, the drops of CBD, I still had a mild panic attack at work during the all staff meeting. I found myself hiding in the bathroom in an attempt to pull it together. Thankfully, by the time I came out, it … Continue reading Panic in the ladies room
It was a rough start this past Thursday morning. I woke up at 2:30am and didn’t get back to bed until 4am. Almost forgot to brush my teeth before leaving the house and decided I’d just spot wash the bratwurst grease off of my pants from the night before- I wasn’t in the mood to … Continue reading Morning Musings
It's 12:37pm. Tuesday. And I'm typing this from home. Why am I home?! That's a great question! My tire has a gash in the sidewall and was deemed "unfixable" last night after I had driven around Wichita trying to frantically get it patched after work. I guess it's frowned upon to drive on them when … Continue reading Tire Tuesday
I'm standing in the kitchen shoveling seconds into my empty bowl when I hear my son tell my father: "I found a $900 calf". WHY IS MY CHILD LOOKING FOR A CALF?! WTF ARE THE TWO OF THEM GOING TO DO WITH IT?! I quickly realized he had said cab. Like the cab of a … Continue reading Let's try to end this on a medium note